Yikes

I’m finding it challenging to balance life right now.

How can I stay mentally and physically healthy, an attentive partner, and keep things from going under financially?

I need to come up with a way to make an extra $500 each month that doesn’t involve DoorDashing as (when I thought about expenses – gas, phone data, time away from my primary job) the earnings don’t outweigh the costs. I have a few ideas, but the time it will take to implement them freaks me out. What if they don’t work? What if we have to dip into the savings we JUST created for the first time in order to survive until I find something that¬†does work? What if we can’t survive?

Having an apartment and someone to rely on me as much as my girlfriend does is a daily adjustment. I would like to be a little calmer but it’s hard when I always go to bed feeling like I haven’t done enough. I question if I have enough support – should I be asking for more? Or should I be DOING more?

When I take a step back, I can see the deeper meaning in it all. All the things to be grateful for.

Every day I’m becoming more and more the independent person that I want to be: the person who is debt-free, self-sufficient, happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Every day I’m coming up with new ideas to take better control of my life. From unique business ideas that give me more freedom, to tiny-house plans that might someday allow me to live mortgage-free in the space of my dreams.

Balance is a construction, it’s not stable.

Everything I experience now has always been there in some capacity: the anxious kid who just wants some peace and stability, the people-pleaser who’s always afraid of being taken advantage of, the weirdo who wants to stay weird but be seen as “normal.”

It’s all there for me to learn from. To love, forgive, and heal.¬†Some days I just feel very overwhelmed.

But it’s all good – I’m on my way to better.

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